Here is the first joke of Betty L. Duncan. Why do the three-eyed aliens bank on the moon? Because there is not enough sun to go around. Press the blue button when you have finished laughing…
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Category: Comedy Page 5 of 8
“Are these fiddlebacks ferns mommy?” Cindy asked. Fiddlehead honey. Margery said absently. “Fiddlebacks are nasty spiders.” It was only later that she would realize Cindy, for once in her vacuous, Barbie obsessed life, was right.”
The first episode of Women and Alien’s month 2011 featuring three stories, each exploring nasty, insectile alien menaces. Fiddleback Ferns, a space infestation sends a mother to her breaking point. Killipedes, a dark, humorous tale where a doctor breaks down a patient’s nasty parasitical infection. In The Difficulties of Evolution, a mournful parent contemplates her child’s anthropomorphic metamorphosis.
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The doctor, who insists that I cite him as “Dr. Franz,” has a habit of holding his hand over his mouth as he giggles. He wears a white lab coat like a scientist from the movies, but this is an affectation. Everyone at Snuggle Club wears the coats, the same way Walmart ‘partners’ wear blue shirts…
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In early December, Brad Miro walked into the office of his partner, Dr. John Estes, and said, “I’ve got our next target. It’s perfect. The public is going to love it.”
John closed his eyes. “I haven’t even finished writing the paper about the Mongolian death worm yet”
This Christmas Special episode of Drabblecast starts with Norm’s Lovecraft inspired take on “The Night Before Christmas”. The theme this week is a creepy yet festive take on Christmas. The feature lets us see the career of a successful crypto-zoologist. As we see Dr John Estes just recovering from discovering the Mongolian death worm when his partner wants to catch a flying reindeer. Norm discusses how it’s better not to believe, like in Santa… or the Mayans.
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When Dr. Lopez came for me, I was plunging the geo lab toilet. She carried a red stickle suit in one hand and a spray can of anti-fungal lubricant in the other.
“Great news, Oliver! Big Spike is in season,” Dr. Lopez said. “He finally wants to fertilize Thick Root…”
The theme of this Drabblecast is propogation and legacy for future generations. The feature lets us into the world of Oliver as he imitates a bora monkey-bird and goes to fertilize a massive jerk of a tree. Norm recaps and wonders what we can learn from the story and it relates to state tax.
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The episode begins with a DrabbleNews segment on blow-up weaponry (it’s Nerf or Nothing!). Next, a drabble from Kelley Zanfardino. on What follows is a doubleheader from Hugo nominated, cognitive psychologist, author Lawrence M. Schoen (with author’s notes), as read by Phil Rossi. In A Fool’s Death we follow a man as he attempts a mime assisted death, jumping into a volcano. In Pidgin we witness the intense frustration arising from a culture clash as an alien tries to buy fruit from a hardware store.
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Kyle lifted another lightsaber. “Want one? They’re not as random or clumsy as a flamethrower.”
“Sh*t. The geek is strong in this one. Sure, Jedi me.”
Kyle tossed it to her with a grin. Hang on Grandpa. We’re coming…
Norm starts this week’s Drabblecast starts with a bbardle about Phantom Claus, to get us in the Halloween spirit. The two part Horror World 2025 is concluded. We rejoin Ben to see if he is any closer to rescuing his grandfather from bedeviled robo-zombies.
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“I, Commander Cody Pendant, am asking you, Chief Neo-Eugenicist Shahven Ishtpig the Third, one last time,” the Aryan commander tossed back a shot of vodka. The glass shattered against the wall, “is Project Minnesota Condor ready?” He impatiently tapped his gun…
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To start, my pet has no roots and only two limbs. Her bark is soft and spongy. A domed leafless flower grows from her trunk. She’s small; standing a mere four branches high and makes odd gibbering sounds when I draw close..
Recorded live at Balticon, Science Fiction convention May 28, 2010
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“We’ve got one of them,” he told me gleefully.
“One of what?” I asked, bewildered.
“One of them,” he said, as if that explained it. “Cheeky sod from Accounts came upstairs and tried to get a coffee out of our vending machine. Can you believe it? Out of OUR vending machine!”
Nothing cheekier than a pandemic of murderous intent..
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“Her routine was perfect in its simplicity. She spent her mornings in the kitchen waiting for someone to brush her, her afternoons sprawled on the couch in the warm sunshine, and her evenings on the nearest lap. Sometimes she watched the water droplets in bathtub after her people took showers.
Yes. It was a good life.
Until they came….
Air Out My Shorts
Apparition
Healthcare is a Human Right
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Maeve stepped into his study. She took a moment to remember the smell, the scent of old leather and hot meat, of tea and savagery. Archie held a delicate forearm out which, carefully, she took, shaking the lead claw once.
… …
“If there’s one thing they teach you in podcasting school, it’s that you always save the monkeys for last.”
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The Drabblecast presents “In Search of the Mongolian Deathworm,” a riveting adventure into the desert sands of Mongolia.
**This episode is part of our B-Sides Feed. To enjoy this feed you can support the show for $10/month.
Join pasty cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth as treks across the Gobi desert in search of mythical acid-spitting, lightning sh*tting annelids.
Story Excerpt:
“It is subject to a number of extraordinary claims by Mongolian locals. Such as the ability of the worm to spew forth sulfuric acid that upon contact will turn anything it touches yellow. It kills humans. And it’s purported ability to kill at a distance by means of electric discharge… through its anus…
The Mongolian Deathworm…the deadliest worm in all of Mongolia…”
This series was originally serialized across five Drabblecast Episodes:
Drabblecast #131 – Storms Comes A’ Callin’
Drabblecast #132 – Double Header IV
Drabblecast #134 – Bone Sigh
Drabblecast #142 – The Golden Age of Fire Escapes (Part 1)
Drabblecast #143 – The Golden Age of Fire Escapes (Part 2)
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