Bo Kaier is the art director of the Drabblecast, and a tool. Definitely a tool
“You are accused of stealing the intellectual property of Einstein, Dirac and Heisenberg.” The middle-aged speaker waved his finger at Professor Hillabin, more in the manner of a prosecutor than a judge.
This episode of the Drabblecast illustrates the folly of bureaucracy. In the drabble, one by one an entire classroom of students are promoted to be their own teachers. In the feature, a lost, dimension-hopping scientist is trapped in a world where scientific theories are considered intellectual property. Unable to perform his calculations without them, he finds himself on trial for failure to pay royalties. When he cannot convince the court to take mercy on him, he pulls looses a devastating strategy.
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“If it’s already in there, it’s already on there…
(This is a discussion)”
Bo’s surgically installed vagina…
Ron Paul’s detachable penis…
And who would win in a fight:
A 35-foot tall flamingo clad in biblical armor, a 2-ton flying nautilus that shoots air torpedos, or six calculating, vindictive Labrador retriever-sized Siamese cat/fleas with serrated mandibles and heat vision.
Warning: Explicit, offensive and unsettling content. Don’t blame us for listening! Unless you love it…
More information about this year’s competition, and the ‘heats’ that produced its competitors, can be found at mega-beasts.com.
Subscribe to the Death-Match Podcast via iTunes!
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Recorded Live at Balticon 2012
The two began their journey again, stopping at the edge of the graveyard. “It sure looks scary in there,” the little brown-haired girl said.
What’s scary is that if you don’t get your ass moving, it’s gonna be Wednesday before I get my freak on.
“Yeah,” said Socks, tugging open the wrought iron gate. “But nothing’s gonna stop us, cause we’re brave explorers!”
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It had rolled and tumbled, whatever it was, gelatinous and tentacled, from lake to canal to stream.
People watched from the shore, following it with opera glasses and sea telescopes. Some thought it was a squid, others an octopus, others still just a glob of fatty flesh from some aquatic animal long torn apart and rotten. It was milky and translucent with tiny red hooks lining the each of its sixteen flacid arms. Deep blue bruises speckled the skin, wrinkling in like spots on a tomato. It had no visible eyes…
This double header features two “postcard stories” by Will Ludwigsen. In Nora’s Thing, sickly Nora’s sister and friends bring her to a mysterious creature they hope has healing powers. In Endless Encore, a sinister puppet show occurs nightly for its audience of one.
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“You Can’t Roll 3 and Pick 2, M@therf%#cker…”
Snorks vs. Smurfs
Chicken vs. Platypus Egg
And who would win in a fight to the death… a 6-foot tall cricket with bat wings, a 400 lb. octopus with cobra legs or a platypus that can manipulate probability…
More information about this year’s competition, and the ‘heats’ that produced its competitors, can be found at mega-beasts.com.
Subscribe to the Death-Match Podcast via iTunes!
Podcast (mbdm): Download
Subscribe: RSS
“Just get him in the room”
The Al-Qaida Fulbright…
Predator Snuff-Porn…
And who would win in a fight to the death:
A rabid 3-ton flying squirrel the size of a moose, a stealthy air-breathing flight-enabled manta ray that drops concussive missles, or a eugenically forged 6-foot tall Communist Red Panda with metal capped claws and back-mounted retractable gun turrets.
Warning, super-duper explicit, do not listen unless you’re well aware of what you’re getting in to. The hosts make sport of saying horrible things.
More information about this year’s competition, and the ‘heats’ that produced its competitors, can be found at mega-beasts.com.
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In some parts of the world — Austria, Croatia, Hungary — they still remember. They understand. You can’t have something bright without having something dark to balance it. If you’ve got St. Nicholas, you also need the Krampus…
This episode of the Drabblecast opens with Norm’s reflections on the holidays, Santa Claus, and the origins of flying reindeer. In the drabble, the mayhem of a large family’s holiday dinner leads to a darkly humorous tragedy. In the feature, an unsavory petty criminal has a chance encounter with a dying old man who confides that years ago Santa bestowed upon him a miracle, a wish, to teach the true meaning of Christmas. Unfortunately, as they both learn, it comes with a catch..
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Oddly-accented cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth once again embarks on a quest to find mythical beasts, this time in the deep jungles of Kenya “In Search of the Brain-Eating Nandi Bear.”
“The Nandi… a magical bear… a brain-eating bear…”
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Okay, no one expects eldritch horror in LA. Not that I know what eldritch horror really is. My old boyfriend (about fifteen boyfriends back) called anything that inspired dread “eldritch horror.” I guess that would describe my entire job, really…
Another story from Lovecraft month – elder horror in LA. Dread Unlocks is on the job!
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In early December, Brad Miro walked into the office of his partner, Dr. John Estes, and said, “I’ve got our next target. It’s perfect. The public is going to love it.”
John closed his eyes. “I haven’t even finished writing the paper about the Mongolian death worm yet”
This Christmas Special episode of Drabblecast starts with Norm’s Lovecraft inspired take on “The Night Before Christmas”. The theme this week is a creepy yet festive take on Christmas. The feature lets us see the career of a successful crypto-zoologist. As we see Dr John Estes just recovering from discovering the Mongolian death worm when his partner wants to catch a flying reindeer. Norm discusses how it’s better not to believe, like in Santa… or the Mayans.
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Kyle lifted another lightsaber. “Want one? They’re not as random or clumsy as a flamethrower.”
“Sh*t. The geek is strong in this one. Sure, Jedi me.”
Kyle tossed it to her with a grin. Hang on Grandpa. We’re coming…
Norm starts this week’s Drabblecast starts with a bbardle about Phantom Claus, to get us in the Halloween spirit. The two part Horror World 2025 is concluded. We rejoin Ben to see if he is any closer to rescuing his grandfather from bedeviled robo-zombies.
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Unhappy is he to whom the memories of childhood bring only fear and sadness. Wretched is he who looks back upon lone hours in vast and dismal chambers with brown hangings and maddening rows of antique books. Such a lot the gods gave to me – to me, the dazed, the disappointed; the barren, the broken…
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For fourteen years the North Piscataway High School History Department, under my stewardship, has honored the tradition of Duel Day, our annual reenactment of the famous, deadly confrontation of 1804, between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. And for all fourteen of those reenactments, I, Robert Stanley, have taken the role of noble Hamilton, and Paul Vasouvian from the math department has filled the boots of the scurrilous Burr…
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“We’ve got one of them,” he told me gleefully.
“One of what?” I asked, bewildered.
“One of them,” he said, as if that explained it. “Cheeky sod from Accounts came upstairs and tried to get a coffee out of our vending machine. Can you believe it? Out of OUR vending machine!”
Nothing cheekier than a pandemic of murderous intent..
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The Drabblecast presents “In Search of the Mongolian Deathworm,” a riveting adventure into the desert sands of Mongolia.
**This episode is part of our B-Sides Feed. To enjoy this feed you can support the show for $10/month.
Join pasty cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth as treks across the Gobi desert in search of mythical acid-spitting, lightning sh*tting annelids.
“It is subject to a number of extraordinary claims by Mongolian locals. Such as the ability of the worm to spew forth sulfuric acid that upon contact will turn anything it touches yellow. It kills humans. And it’s purported ability to kill at a distance by means of electric discharge… through its anus…
The Mongolian Deathworm…the deadliest worm in all of Mongolia…”
This series was originally serialized across five Drabblecast Episodes:
Drabblecast #131 – Storms Comes A’ Callin’
Drabblecast #132 – Double Header IV
Drabblecast #134 – Bone Sigh
Drabblecast #142 – The Golden Age of Fire Escapes (Part 1)
Drabblecast #143 – The Golden Age of Fire Escapes (Part 2)
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